Hey Let's Crush Some Trolls
by Hwikek
Summary: After seeing such injustices on the Internet Tomo finds herself drawn to their complete and utter annihilation by her own two hands.


The teroristas are persuing Kaji and their black cars stops, and there are terrorist working with a bag in the back seat. When Kaji pass the terorist throws bag over his heda, Ichigo is then throwed insdide the car he start shout for help but then a terrorist hit im in the head with the gun!but kaji refuse to pass out. he start agian to screme, then a terrorist hit ihim with butt of his rifle in te head ad he poass out.

"HEEEEEEEELP" screme kaji."heeeeeelp!"

Terrorist says, "hurry shut him up!"

"HEEELP!"

"shut up!

"SHUT HIM UP FOR F*C SAKE"shout terrorist leader...he is GENDO IKARI.! (A/N Shunjis ild mam)

"I have shut him up" says one terrorist.

"Very GOOD!" commend Gendo. "you did a good job! NOW BEGINS PHRASE TWO OF MY PLAN!" Then he laugh extremely evil.

later in school Shinji is pounding on a Soda Pop Automate! "I need juce to make it thru the day!" he complian when it won't get him the juce he wants. "PLEEASE my hair will turn gay if I dont have my morning juce."

"it was workig just recentely" say Toji who came walking.

"good for you" reply Shinju sarcasticaly.

The principle came in the corridoor. "Shinji I need you at my ofice."

At The Ofice...the principle lowerrd his glasses and look at Shinjiu for a long moment. "ahve you read this?"

"No I haven'r" answer Shinji reflexiveley. Then he reads it. "Intreresting...Kaji is missing and noone knows were he is, no witnesses, hmmm"

At that time Gendo was in his ofice talking to a buc nh of drag dealers who shall posion Tokyo-3 with the drag Valkyire.

Gendo says: "you know waht you are suposed to do! You must poision at least twenty people, get it."

The drag delares are confused."Okay, boss. but what about kaji? what are ye goin' ta do wif him, boss?"

Gendo laugh. "YOU DONT WANT TO KOW WHAT AWEFUL DESTINU I AHVE IN

STORE FOR HIM! When youre done, Ill let you guys have some fun in Horajuku...I mean you get to shoot people indiscremently!"

the drag dealers are gidy with exitement. "Itll be a plesure, boss! MoHaHaHahAA" Drag dealers load their weapons.

Gendo: "GO AND KILL!"

Drug dealers just laugh and say okay. Then Gendo and drag dealers laugh togehter.

At that point bankai Ichigo busted into the room. "Oh my god what the fuck is wrong with you?" he screamed, "I thought Gendo was one of the good guys!"

"I'm actually his evil twin, at least I think I am."

"I don't care if you're the crack whore from down the street," he screamed, "I'm about to kick your stupid ass right now!"

"But I have drag, er—drug dealers," he whined.

"And I can fight demons with one hand tied behind my back!" he cried, "now it's time for you to pay!"

"Tomo," said Yomi, "What are you doing?"

"Fighting against douchebags," said Tomo, "on the Inter—"

"Yes, I know you're on the Internet," said Yomi, "what I want to know is why are you doing it using my account?"

"Shut up," Tomo snapped, as if to block any further conversation. "Do you know how much I love troll fighting?"

"Maybe it's 'cause you spend 99 hours a day playing WoW with that blue haired girl," said Yomi, who was a fan of strategy games.

"Konota and I are both better at videogames than you are!"

"Isn't it weird that none of us like the same types of video games?" Yomi asked her friend.

"Blah, blah, blah," Tomo mocked, "I'm going back to troll fighting."

"I just don't get it," Yomi said to herself, "Why does Kagura," she blushed just thinking of the girl, "like FPS games, Sakaki," again she blushed, "like Katamari Damacy, and Osaka like Pokémon games?" Yomi just could not imagine why all of her friends couldn't agree on which game they enjoyed. Except for one.

Hi!

I am a very witty older gay male and a talent writer too. My hobby is to criticque "Fan Fiction" based on "Fan Doms" I do not have any care for.

First I am very annyoed by something certain in the "Azumanga Daoh Fan Dom" namely the odd names. What is a Yukari Tanizaki? What kind of dreranged parents name his child Gendo Ikari? Or Sakaki? Or somethng as retarded as Sachiel? I dont get it. From whose ass do you pull these riddiculuos names? Here I have been so kind as to correct your retarded names, you know change them to something better:

Kiyohiko Azmua - Sandor Stark

Yukari Tanizaki - Helen McBride

Sakaki Ikari - Irene Pollman

Gendi Okari - Hugh Matthews Pollman

Eva - the only good name! I have taken liberties and assigned a last name: Kotsinas-O'Ruddy.

Nyamo - Tina Arrowny

Much BETTER.

Also to be blunt but you are a "suck" writer as you youngerst would say in your collocqual speak. You need to work more emotio into the text because as it is it lacks emotion and is borng! Also you need to get an editor (like me who) can proof read everything and warn you if you write shit so you won't post it. Because once you post something on the net you can never take it back thats what they told me a t work.

Further more you are extremeley prolix and reading a single paragraph of your "story" takes longer time than it should to read the paragraph of your "story." You must consider using more concise words so that it is easier to read, not long and wincded and rambling, one way to accomplish this is to use short sentences rather than long and omit anything that is obvous from context. Here I have taken the libertes of changing a part of your story so that its more literary and has a bit of actual qualitiy:

The room was dark as they crossed the room. Then the hanger was ilumintated. Irene Pollman, eighteen years old and just out of high school and her green summer dress with tasteful floral prints jumped.

A machine looked at her. Its eyes black, its jaws shut. A massive hron in the forehead and two shoulders. A hundred feet above. It was color purple and green like Irene Pollman's exquisite dress seave for the floral designs.

Sakaki stared at the metal monster, as she looked up and saw a certain glasses wearing man. "F-father…"

Irene Pollman looked at it. "Father," she said in that icy voice which turned down hundreds of lovers since high school, like that hunky captaon of the football teme Mike Suers or the local mayh wizz Stephen Paistley who had all been dating Irene Pollman. It was a voice that a man would murder for but that would murder him back if it found out about his infidlelity. Thatkind of heart-breaking soul stopping gut retching icy tone voce.

"Hi Irene" said Hugh Matthews Pollman, a older greyeing man who was geting on in years yet he was still muscular under neath that sweater his wife Bertha Blockhauser-Pollman had made for him on the day he published his own first novel as a way of celebrate. On either of his side stood two body gurads, but Irene Pollman didnt know their names, although she certainly know that the muscular hunk on the right with a big hooked nose and lots of black hair seemed to apprecioate her bared legs.

"Hi...father" Irene looked at the sexy body guard.

"I have brought you here since theres something I want you to do" said Hugh Matthews Pollman. "I want you to marry the son of Bernaldo Amarazzi, the rich Italian mlliardaire who wants to buy the rights to my latest book as a token of gratitude for you marrying him."

"FATHER HOW COULD YUOU!"" Screamed Irene Pollman. "You CANT JUST TELL ME HOW TO MARRY!" It was as if a damm full of her desiruous hatred for her over baring literati of a father burst when he heard his words so cruel and now all she wanted was to jump into that body guards strong arms and let him dry her taers.

"What?" Helen McBride gushed forth. "you want her to marry before she its twenty tewo! Nothing good will come out of such a young marriage! It will destroy!"

"WTF!"

Everyone turned to see Ichigo holding Tensa Zangetsu.

"Not this again!" he cried, "how can one person be such a dick?"

"Who are you?" asked Sakaki, "and why do you look like you're holding a Samurai sword."

"No," said Gendo, "That's a katana."

"What's the difference?"

"Don't get me started."

"Curse you PenusCustardIII!" cried Ichigo, "At least you stopped trolling recently!"

"Tomo," said Yomi, "are you still doing that?"

"Yeah, duh." The hyper teen rolled her eyes so slowly and dramatically that Yomi wondered whether or not she had had a stroke.

"Chiyo just invited us over to play on the Wii."

"Yomi, the Wii sucks."

"No it doesn't," she snapped.

"Does it have Halo?" Tomo asked her friend.

"Neither does the PS3," she spat.

"Yeah, that sucks too," said Tomo, "I don't want to play as some retarded cat-robot things and—"

"Ratchet and Clank is not retarded Tomo!"

"Says who?"

"Says the fist that's about to rape your face!"

"Truce, truce!" she cried before Yomi had a chance to knock her lights out. "What game were we going to go play at Chiyo's house?"

Yomi said, "The only game we can all play at once without complaints."

"Oh god," said Tomo, "Not Pokémon Battle whatever again. Why does Osaka always pick out the stupid games?"

Yomi facepalmed. "Not that one, the one that even _you_ like for Wii."

"You mean…?"

"Yes," said Yomi.

"Okay," Tomo yawned, "I'll meet you over there."

scrouge was outside his moneye bin when the bagel boys come. theyre led by Blackhart bagel who dresses like a pirate. He has an eye pach and a big red coayt and he looks like he means serius buisness.

"We got you now!" said Blackhart bagel and point his gun at scrouge. "scrouge mcduck!"

"alas." Says scrouge and tried to run ut his spats got caught in a branch and he fall. "I kno i shouldn't have let donlad move the lown!"

"noooo!" sctream donald. "Dont fire me unxle scroyge! i need this job to feed huey duey luey donald."

but its too late. the bagel boys catch up with scrouge and they lift him by the neck. he tried to kick Blackhart bagel but cant because Blackhart is wearing pirate clothes.

"stand still so i can kick you!" say scrounge mcduck. his hat fall of when he fights.

"oh no! I just bowt that in Clondike 1815! at this rate i will be runed in fifty thosan d bilion yaers." (A/N in europena comics he say thayt all the time lol)

"i help you uncke!" said Donald as he run to attack the bagel boys. he tries to attack for massive damage to save Scourge. But 174-161 just sidestep and hit Donald in the face! "AAAAUUUWWwwwgh!" he shouted.

"uncel doanald!" it was...huey luey duey who come to save Scorunge and moneye bin.

"MASHED DUCK FOR MEIN CURSE!" shouted 174-161. "BTTER THAN PRISON ISSUE PUBES!"

He take out his hammer and aproch huey luey duey. the hammer isr erect in his hand as he approch huey luey duey and in his eyes there is only hatred and evil. but huey luey duey jump up when he strikes and hit him in the face. "MY NOSE!" shouted 174-161. but huey luey duey try to run away and they get away.

"well catch them later," said Blackhart who was doing unspakable things to scruoge.

"STOP IT I CANT TAKE MORE!" say scoureg

"but what if they fetch police?" ask 133-171 who was eating prubes. "im afraid of caps."

"you bagel boys wont get away with this!" say donald. donald had recovered from the hit he had axcepted. now he runs at blackhart bagel and is prepared to deal massive damage with...crotch kick! o_O o_O o_O

"!" Blackhart bagel fall to the grund. he wont have any chuldren thinks donald and laughs.

"No!"

"I see that you returned once again, Ichigo Kurosaki."

Ichigo turned to face his most vile opponent, PenusCustardIII.

"Why the fuck do you keep pulling the same shit over and over again?" Ichigo tightened his grip on Tensa Zangetsu. "Are you some sort of insane fuck monkey?"

"I think I've had enough of your ginger ass."

Ichigo heard a sound behind him and turned to face, Duke Nukem.

"LOLOLOLOLOL!"

Everyone turned to see Master Chief appear hlding energy sowrd.

"LOL I'm goonna rape DN's ass," said Chief, "FOR GREAT JUSTICE!"

"Oh really?" said Duke Nukem.

"Yea lol," said Chief, "I'ms o fucking good at halo that I cun preety much do anything dickweed."

Then Duke Nukem pointed a gay revolver at Chief. "Now it's time for you to die."

"LoL, I haz teh bullit prrof armour fagget. You're gay ass revolver can't hurt me."

"Then I choose the Boltok!" cried Duke Nukem.

"Fuk!" cried Master Chief, "Bleach emo dude, he are all yours!" and with that Chief ran away screaming like a little girl.

"What the fuck just happened?" asked Ichigo, "why did a plastic action figure show up holding a toy energy sword?" _And why did he say I was emo?_ But Ichigo knew that he had a bigger problem to deal with than simply the non sequiturs.

"I'm not gonna fight you," said Duke Nukem.

"…I'm gonna kick your ass!" Ichigo and Duke screamed.

Ichigo slashed at the blonde with his bankai. Duke blocked it with the Boltok he'd stolen off of a dead Grub.

"What's the matter ginger?" asked Duke Nukem, "Maybe you should have spent less time committing necrophilia with Rukia and more time training!"

"What?" Ichigo slashed at Duke Nukem again, "I never did that!"

"Maybe if you hadn't spent so much time staring at guys with 'big swords' you would be stronger!"

"I didn't do that either!" Ichigo growled trying once again to hit Duke Nukem.

"Maybe if you hadn't been in those phenomenally gay Bount and New Captain filler arcs you'd still have a fanbase!"

"Maybe if I hadn't impregnated Lani she wouldn't have realized you're such a dick!"

"Die!" cried Duke as he fired the Boltok at Ichigo.

"Guahg!" Ichigo could feel his body shake with each of the Boltok's rounds. _I can't lose, not to him. Not ever!_ Ichigo vanished before appearing right in front of Duke Nukem. "Getsuga Tensho!" The lunar fang sliced through the Boltok, leaving Duke unable to fight.

"This is for The Moiderah of Writing!" Ichigo slashed into Duke Nukem's arm. "This is for Alex274!" Tensa Zangetsu stabbed into Duke Nukem's right lung, causing him to cough up a crimson molasses onto Ichigo's face. "This is for Elred Bluegreen!" He slashed off Duke Nukem's junk.

"And this," Ichigo raised the zanpakutō over his head, "Is for me!"

PenusCustardIII watched as Duke Nukem fell to the ground dead.

"Now I can finally defeat you!" Ichigo cried, before giving him the wedgie of a lifetime.

_Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Phone call, phone call._

Tomo answered her cell phone, realizing how desperately she needed to change the ringtone.

"_Where are you? We're all waiting to play Brawl!_"

"Whoops," said Tomo, "I'll be over there right away!"

"Tomo, stop spamming arrows!" Yomi cried.

"Nah, nah, nah, nah." Tomo stuck her tongue out at Yomi. "You're just jealous 'cause you suck at this game."

Sakaki began to cry as she watched Kagura doodle over the image of a toy kitten. The sniffling alerted Kagura that something was a miss. As did Sakaki putting her head on the table and covering it with her arms before sobbing.

"Hey," said Kagura, "Is she gonna be okay?"

"Maybe she's high."

"What?" Kagura was shocked by Osaka's comment, "why would you say that?"

"Did you check her eyes?"

"No, she has them closed right now."

"How convenient," said Osaka, frowning in disgust.

"She's not high!"

"Gah!" said Chihiro as Tomo continued to mash the B button, "why does she keep doing this?"

"It's almost like Tomo's trolling us," Kaorin sobbed.

"Osaka," said Kagura, "Give me your Wiimote!"

"But I wanna play…."

"Do it or Tomo will win!"

Osaka sniffed in defeat, handing her last life over to the only girl in the entire house that was a hard core gamer. Kagura smiled as she held the long, white, stick in her hand, before proceeding to do pretty much the same thing that Tomo had done to everyone else.

"Quit doing that!" cried Tomo, "Don't you realize that you'll never wi—"

Then Kagura pwned with Pikachu since Osaka loved that thing for some reason and the game was over.

"This game sucks," said Tomo, "Who wants to play chess?"

"You suck at chess," said Kagura.

"Not as much as you do." And with that Tomo and Kagura were fighting each other with the anger that high school girls normally reserve for when they find their best friend making out with their boyfriend on their birthday. Unfortunately for Tomo, Kagura works out.

"Hey Ms. Sakaki?"

The girl stopped sobbing to see Chiyo, her forbidden crush, standing in front of her.

"Why are you crying?" Chiyo asked Sakaki.

"I'm, I'm fine," she said, "why don't we go for a walk?"

"Okay, we're running low on juice so we can pick that up on the way."

Chiyo scampered off after Sakaki. The two of them walked down the street, surrounded by well kept flower boxes and whitewashed walls. Sakaki's feet beat against the hard pavement with each step she took and she found it hard to stomach the hot sun, making her face moisten with sweat.

"Oh look," said Chiyo, "It's a kitty cat."

Sakaki gulped as Kamineko walked towards them. Soon more cats began to gather around Kamineko's gray form. At first Chiyo was delighted to see all of the kitties arriving. Then as more and more of them began to appear on the street, she noticed that they were not acting sweetly and cheerfully; rather they seemed to be extremely angry and vicious as if they wanted to attack her, mouths open and hissing.

Sakaki stood in front of Chiyo, her arms spread out wide. "Stay back," she told the girl. _No matter what happens_, the quiet young woman thought, _I'll protect Chiyo with my life._

"Quick!"

Sakaki and Chiyo turned to see small green and red creatures appear.

"Activate Keronian defensive play Ms. Furbottom's New Boyfriend!"

"Right!" said the red creature, sounding surprisingly like Piccolo. He released a bright light which disappeared in a flash, leaving a cat with a strange green device on its chest.

"All right," said the cat, "time to go Four Arms! Humungosaur? This stupid thing doesn't work at all!"

"We will destroy you Again Again Again!" cried the cat army, "You have humiliated us for far too long!"

"How can you beat me?" asked the Omnitrix wielding cat, "I can step on you!"

"He's right! Retreat my alley born brethren!"

And with that Fuyuki woke up from his crazy dream.

"Huh, I wonder why Kagura looked so hot holding Tomo down in my mind, or why there was a cat with the Omnitrix?"

"That show is gay," said Keroro.

"You're gay!" said Fuyuki.

"No, you're thinking of Tamama," said Keroro, "He's the Kaorin of the Keronian Invasion Force."

"You're all gay," said Natsumi, "Especially you little brother, that one girl keeps hitting on you but you don't ever try to date her or anything."

"I'm not gay," Fuyuki turned away from Natsumi, "I'm just not that kind of teenager yet."

"Well if you're having dreams with hot anime girls in them," said Natsumi, "then you can't be that far away from being a hentai maniac." And Natsumi left his room, while Fuyuki vehemently denied Natsumi's comment had even a shred of merit.


End file.
